Thursday, December 29, 2011

How to Win an argument with a Woman?

Every couple fights. Nine times out of ten men will say, “It’s impossible to win an argument with a woman.” And with that, most men will throw in the towel, take their punishment and walk on. But does that mean the woman has won? Hardly. With the divorce rates record-high, it is important that couples begin to understand that communication is key in keeping a relationship together. Inevitably, you will argue. Surprisingly, however, you both can “win” and, consequently, overcome it.
I am giving away the most life changing solution here. As much as I am scared of being banished from the kingdom of muliebrity, I will still take my chances here. Men all around the globe have been researching on this topic and you can find numerous videos on youtube by the sterner sex trying to crack this question. Below you will find a step wise guide to ultimately defeating your female in a battle of arguments.
STEP 1Find the Hidden meaning. When your woman starts to yell about the garbage can not being emptied by you the previous night, it is definitely not the only thing she is yelling about. Take a second to scan your one week history, because your woman is yelling at you for more reasons than just a garbage can. It could be something as random as the 2 second look you gave to another woman while dining with your girl.
STEP 2Don’t let her stray from the point. Now that you know that there is a hidden agenda behind her GARBAGE CAN story, try to restrict her arguments to just the complaint that the words which came out of her mouth reflected. A woman is like WIKIPEDIA, she has the details of every little thing you did or omitted to do while you were supposed to do it, in her brain. Whenever she sees herself loosing in front of your logical explanations, she brings out that historical event and bombards you with it which eventually renders you incapable.
STEP 3Never curse. You do not want to add new events in her History book, thus causing future calamities. Craft your words sharp but keep a check on them. A woman will bring out her ultimate weapon that is ‘TEARS’ if she has no reasonable argument to counter your explanation and if you curse her, she will finally have a reason to bring out those crocodile tears, even if it did not hurt her a tinge.
STEP 4Use her History Book method i.e Cite Precedents. Now a woman loves to shower your history on you which has the effect of shooting a poisoned arrow right on your bum, but she never expects you to do the same. Think of a situation where she did something which really hurt you and use it as your secret weapon.
STEP 5Be senseless. If you are logical and if you make sense, you are bound to fail. If the History you chose in Step 4 did not do the magic, jump to random arguments which may have nothing to do with the actual topic. Bring out stuffs like hairbrush left on the table with strands of hair still on it, how she ignores you because of her daily soaps etc. Make her speechless and by that I mean to keep talking until she gives up arguing.
STEP 6Make her feel guilty. Now that you have become senseless and are almost on the verge of success, remind her of all the good things you have done for her. Women are the most guilty conscious species alive on the face of the Universe. Make a sad face, look straight in her eyes, force a bit of extra moisture in your eyes and with a low voice tell her how much you love her and what all you do just to make her happy. Make things up, you being MEN should be awesome at it.
STEP 7Topic Forgotten. By now, your woman would be hugging you or would have cooled down atleast, with a guilty smile on her face. Hug her tight, say a sorry for the non disposal of the Garbage , and also make a secret note in your head as to always stare at random girls when your girl in not anywhere in the vicinity.
STEP 8Mission accomplished. Bask in the victory spotlight my manipulative friend!
No matter what, NEVER let her win. It’s a blow to men everywhere, and it’s going to make it harder for you in the future. Worst of all, it’s going to complicate the situation for me when I steal her from you. I’m gonna have her, it’s only a matter of time, just don’t go empowering her with nonsense while I let you get nookie. Unless she’s nasty, in which case you can keep her. Just don’t come crying to me when you wake up and realize you’re sleeping next to Sasquatch. See you next Manday.
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